There’s a Ton of Sh*t in this (S)hït

To make sure we have access to important materials and information—for personal reference, or in the scenario that someone gets hit by a bus–we have our communal folder called (S)hit. Everyone has a folder within (S)hit. For example: Jim’s Shit; Carol’s Shit; Nikki’s Shit…well, you get the point. It’s a lot of shit. Some people use it for stupid shit. Caryla, however, uses it for a bunch of shit. For your anniversary at ADwërks, Caryla, we’ve made a list of the top ten, elusive file names in your Shit folder. Also, to celebrate, we’re throwing around the hole-punch confetti that we found around your desk. Just kidding…we’re drinking.

S:\Shit\Caryla’s_Shit

  1. Lost Log-in Email
  2. Banana Stamp
  3. Hump Day
  4. The Door to the Room Next to Ours
  5. Wood Wood Stove
  6. Boys & Their Eyes
  7. Snail Hospital
  8. Feed Elves Tree
  9. Boom
  10. Not elusive, but Caryla has a shortcut to her Shit Folder…IN her Shit Folder. (Is this the equivalent to searching for Google…on Google??)

Nikki

Notes from the Intern

Only a chosen few have been offered internships at ADwërks. We like to call these select few the lucky ones, the cream-of-the-crop, the pick-of-the-litter…well, you get the point. We want our interns to be successful, provide them with motivating experiences and insight, and show them that fun is not just exclusive to Friday’s Beer-Thirty or the holiday party. We asked Michael what his favorite part of the internship was:

“In our meetings, there were a lot of things said…a lot of things from the BINGO card, actually. But, I also learned a lot about budgeting and interaction between companies, while learning the marketing side of things. I want to thank Jim for giving me this opportunity. After graduation, I’d like to travel and eventually end up back in Texas where I want to open my own business. Jim’s story is inspiring, and I like the fun and professional culture here. They have lots of fun and get the work done.”

At the beginning of his internship, Michael was handed a mission:  How will you illustrate your experience at ADwërks? Here’s a glimpse at the Internship Chronicles, a documentary from Michael.

P.S. The big ‘who’s-making-coffee-now’ dilemma has been resolved.

Nikki

The Art of Not Shaving

It’s been 11 days, 8 hours, and 41 minutes since Jim’s razor went into hibernation, and we weren’t sure if the stubble would abide for the No-Shave movement. We also weren’t sure if Kara was ready for this War of Whiskers, or if a protest would take place behind closed doors. Fortunately, Jim’s whiskers are stepping up their game and starting to look more like a beard and less like he’s homeless. This is great for Kara and great for the cause!

Day 7

Day 7

Day 8

Day 8

Day 9

Day 9

Day 10

Day 10

Day 11

Day 11

The last time Jim put the razor down for an extended period-of-time (and

Jim and Monday

Jim and Monday

wore a kilt) was roughly 16 years ago. No wonder he is getting so many observations on this epic beard!

Follow along throughout the month, as we track his beard’s progress and how much this grooming challenge has raised for cancer research. Remember, Jim will match donations up to $250! We’re very excited about the donations received so far, but there’s still time to seize the opportunity and help cancer research and awareness, by donating https://no-shave.org/member/ADwerkerJim . It’s also not too late to participate in your own No-Shave November fundraiser. Every little bit helps, and it’s never too late to support a great cause. If you would like to participate, but are unable to grow a beard, please take one of our complimentary mustaches and get out there and raise some coin!

Nikki

Complimentary Mustache

The Nightmare on Main Street

Jim’s ghosts are roaming eight to five,

Dead at Work

And coffee makes them come alive.

The agency now gleams with fright,

Ready for this haunting night.

Married to the handsome Devil,

Kara’s the queen of office revel.

With black magic and a bottle of Boos,

Carol does the work of two.

Back in the office of Sleepy Hollow,

Kirsten summons those that follow.

Despite any competition Hocus Pocus,

Kitchen turned Dungeon

Tyler keeps the client in focus,

And if ideas start falling flat,

Sara’s got a spell for that.

Resting witch-face and potions flying,

Nikki’s magic is copy writing.

Lurking around like Frankenstein,

Mike’s the monster of design.

Beware, if you see a smiling zombie,

Know Caryla’s finally had her coffee.

Office Dungeon

And after Sarah’s cast her media spell,

Her dark magic has results to tell,

Which will summon Kristi from her lair,

To find the best time on the air.

Foreseeing numbers through her crystal ball,

Heather never lets advertising fall.

After Jolene’s mastered her witches’ brew,

She’ll get you, my pretty, and your little dog too.

So, pick your poison, Trick or Beer,

It’s a Monster Mash when Tonic’s here.

Beware of Zombie in the Basement

Beware of Zombies in the Basement

Follow us if you dare (just not in clown masks; that sh*t is creepy)

 

Nikki

Syntax Architect

ADwërks Gains Brave Intern

We’re on our best behaviors again, which means that we have a newcomer in the office. We found ourselves a Fall intern from Augustana University (or rather, he found us) and we couldn’t be more excited because we know those Augie scholars are pretty awesome. We can’t wait to introduce him to the day-to-day tasks (i.e. coffee) and get him acclimated to the activities that ensue the agency life. To break the ice and loosen things up a little for our newbie, we’ve provided him with our Office Bingo Card. The only rule to Office Bingo is, “Thou Shall Not Holler False Bingo.” Good luck, and Welcome to ADwërks, Michael.

officebingocard

Trolley Time

If you’ve ever stepped foot on the Sioux Falls Downtown Trolley, then you know that it has the ability to transport you back in time. Not like the DeLorean in Back to the Future, but more like a revelation into the early 1900’s Cable-Car era, when streetcars operated in the historic pathways of downtown. Rows of wooden benches, enormous windows, brass pillars, and other vintage components provide an authentic interior to this modern replica. With stops located throughout historic downtown, it’s incredibly convenient for locals and tourists to hitch a ride. Alas, as summer winds down, so does the Downtown Trolley service. Business and community donations kept thTrolley 6e historical street car rolling this year, and thanks to all the charitable people who supported the Trolley, it was another successful season for tourists and locals alike. Being located on the ‘Main’ drag gives us the opportunity to enjoy a piece of history, from our vast windows and by catching a lift. Trolley 7Come venture downtown to enjoy the last full week of looping the inner-city streets in style. Since the Trolley is like clockwork, you have the flexibility and leisure to plan your Trolley 5day doing casual activities or exploring. And, if our calculations are correct, when this Baby hits 88MPH, you’re going to see some serious…Sorry, we’re still thinking about Back to the Future. 

Happy Travels,

ADwërks

Tonic Turns Two

Monologue:  It’s My Birfday and I’ll Bark if I Want to.

I didn’t want to celebrate my birfday this year, but these jolly jackholes decided otherwise.

Instead of laying around the house, and having a nice, relaxing day watching for the mailman–he doesn’t bring phone books anymore, so it’s fun–I took a car ride to the office.

I toddled in on my leash, as usual. It looked and sounded like another typical day. Tyler was on the phone, so I couldn’t play with my squeaky toys. My tennis ball from yesterday was still wedged under the Craftsman, and the coffee snobs were hard at it again. Today should be a doBlog 1g-gone good time. Ruff.

These birfday bandits must not think I have any friends because they only invited themselves. Well, the UPS guy stopped by for a minute and brought me a treat, which he does every day. Oh, and the guy from the dry cleaners stopped in, but I don’t think he knew it was my birfday. He just nodded. Hazel wasn’t even here to Paw-ty. Her mom probably doesn’t think she’s mature enough for a shindig of this caliber. Ruff.

I figured I better check out the ballyhoo going on downstairs.  Maybe someone took the last Diet Coke from the fridge and all hell was breaking loose. Then, I spotted the massive white bone. Blog 2‘Guys, you shouldn’t have,’ I thought. Even new food bowls packed with tasty treats, just for me?!  I sat and waited patiently as the Empress and the Scribe held the camera in my face. “Smile, Tonic,” they said at this angle. “Stay, Tonic,” they begged at that angle. I only smile when I’m about ready to puke. They should know this by now. The Cog Whisperer turned into the Dog Whisperer by using Milkbones as a decoy to get my attention for the party hat. Party Hats?! You know I don’t like hats! Why did you bring hats?! You should have just put phone books all over the kitchen if you wanted to scare me silly. Ruff.

The treats weren’t even scratch and sniff. But, there were Milkbones. I love Milkbones. And toys. The front office now looks like a dog-toy crime scene. The party was over in less than 30 minutes. Thanks, party animals.

Blog 3

Tonic

P.S. Mike is still my favorite, and Nikki ate three cupcakes.

(Ghostwriter: Syntax Architect)

 

We’re growing… again!

We’re looking for for one of those Digital Savant kind of people. Could it be you? Do you know Google Adwords? Do you dream in Analytics? Are you a Search Engine Marketing Superstar? We should talk!

We are looking for someone to help us manage a large SEM account. It’s a big account with a big budget, but they also want big results, so this is a great chance to flex your SEM muscles. And it’s a chance to work in a fun and vibrant office where you can enjoy the finer things in life like Folgers and Grain Belt. And you get the chance to work hard alongside a bunch of fun-loving jackholes!

If this opportunity still sounds like something you’re interested in, we should talk. Send your résumé to rodbender@adwerks.com. Tell us what makes you the King or Queen of SEM. Explaining why you want to dig in and show us that ROI isn’t just a fancy acronym. Tell us what your potential co-workers and clients should expect and any other crazy stuff you think we should know. Tell us about your 3-plus years of SEM experience and brag about your Google certifications. If you’re good, let us know!

Hurry up. We’re ready get to work and have some fun. Are you?

We’re Looking for a Couple of Well-Trained Wackos

It doesn’t happen very often, but ADwerks is hiring. In fact we need two people. First, we need a copywriter. But not just any old copywriter. We need someone who’s just about one taco short of a combo platter. Second, we need a social media/digital strategist. Someone who dreams about the perfect Tweet. If either of these sound like you or someone you know, let us know, we should hang out.

Copywriter
Do you know words? Words that can inspire, motivate, persuade & sell. Can you write words that will create action in a short 8 seconds or a long 30 seconds? Words that convey a message in as little as 140 characters or more than 2 pages? Can you prooofread as well as you edit? Can you take critiques as well as you take direction? Do you enjoy the finer things in life like Folgers and Grain Belt? Do you want to work hard alongside a bunch of fun-loving jackholes? If you think we’re just trying to be witty or ironic, consider this before responding… this ad was written by our HR department. Yeppers. If this opportunity still sounds like something you’re interested in, we should talk, or better yet, write. Send us your story. Email rodbender@adwerks.com explaining why you want to subject yourself to this agony, what your potential co-workers and clients should expect and any allergies you may have. For real, don’t just send a resume and boring cover letter. We want someone who entices and intrigues us and is looking for a long term, committed relationship. Hurry, work is stacking up. No phone calls, just written words please.

Send your stuff to rodbender@adwerks.com

Social Media/Digital Media Strategist.
We are looking for a digital and social media strategist to lead regional social strategy for one of the world’s most recognized brands. Yes, you read that correctly, we’re going to pay someone to spend their day on Facebook and Twitter. How cool is that?

This position will manage digital platforms, develop a social media strategy to build greater brand awareness, develop, implement and manage all social media efforts designed to increase consumer awareness, as well as consumer acquisition, retention and engagement.
• Research, develop and manage day-to-day social media content
• Manage social advertising campaigns on Facebook and Twitter with regular status updates provided internally and semi-monthly reports to the client
• Manage a social media budget and media strategy for paid ad placement to increase engagement on social platforms
• Interact with consumers/customers in real time via social media platforms
• Identify opportunity areas and conduct research in order to leverage social media activities and strategies to extend the campaign
• Ensure social media platforms and channels are effectively aligned with the client’s brand and overall business strategies
• Manage digital media buys on a variety of platforms.
So if Facebook is your native language and you brag about how many people follow you on InstaGram, give us a shout.
Again, send your stuff (including link to your social accounts) to rodbender@adwerks.com

Holiday Libation Limericks

It’s no secret that at ADwërks, we like to indulge in a drink or two every now and then. So it’s only natural that one of our favorite things about the Holidays is the cheerful beverages. The more cheer the better. In fact, pour us a glass of straight cheer with a little ice. And make it a double. It’s pretty hectic around the office this time of year…

Anyway, we wrote these Holiday Libation Limericks inspired by some of our favorite festive beverages. Use them to help you decide on what you want to drink, recite them to your friends and family, or if you happen to be that uncle, teach them to your nephew. Please read responsibly.

Blitzen’s Bourbon
A glass, some bourbon and ice
Is all you need to feel nice
Although it’s traditional
It can be quite medicinal
As a Holiday coping device

Yule Log Nog
‘A sip, sip sip on the nog
Until your head’s in the fog
Who knows how it’s made
Just know it brings aid
To Christmas’s stressful prologue

Caroler’s Candy
This seasonal drink tastes dandy
Like booze and a cane of candy
Peppermint Schnapps
Is always the tops
And may leave you feeling quite randy

Ho Ho Cocoa
Hot cocoa is very well-liked
From adults to wee little tykes
Thoust don’t disapprove
It can still be improved
Since it’s always better when spiked

ADwërks wishes you and your family a happy Holiday full of cheer!